


Blameless

by prairiecrow



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: M/M, Secret Relationship, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-30
Updated: 2011-07-30
Packaged: 2017-10-21 23:55:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/231301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prairiecrow/pseuds/prairiecrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Garak never believed in miracles -- until Julian.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blameless

**Author's Note:**

> Set in early S3, after "Civil Defense" (3x07). Companion piece to "Absolution".

Elim Garak is by nature and training a consummate actor, capable of slipping into any role as easily as he might don a new tunic. These days he plays the part of a genial little tailor… most of the time, at any rate. There are moments when other masks are called for, and even the occasional incident when all the shields and mirrors falter and fall away, leaving the lethal steel core of his personality exposed.

Fortunately only one other person on this station has seen his nearly naked self, and that individual is not likely to tell anyone else. Doctor-patient confidentiality or some such nonsense would assure that, even if there weren't other ties in place that render Julian very careful with Garak's secrets.

He is certain that Julian has not been talking out of turn about him. The boy is in love with him, and a man that kind and compassionate would not betray the one he's given his heart to, regardless of whether or not that gift was a wise one to offer. When he ponders such unlikely generosity Garak can only come to two conclusions: that Julian must be utterly foolish or utterly mad, although the Human does not strike him as either. Naive? Yes. Impulsive? Unquestionably. Such are the follies of youth, after all. But there is a core of strength in the good Doctor — and he _is_ truly good, a precious rarity in a universe largely populated by the cruel, the brutal and the venal — and a kind of wisdom that does not know itself, but sees through facades that should be impenetrable.

When Julian looks at Garak, he _sees_ him. Garak can feel it in the warmth of his gaze and the sweetness of his smile. And he finds it intensely disconcerting, especially in light of the fact that Julian has seen enough of the darkness that dwells within him to know much better than that.

When his implant had malfunctioned, Garak had told Julian a number of stories that conveyed the essence if not the precise outlines of the truth. His goal had been to drive the infuriating child away so that he could die alone. But instead of hatred, the natural response to such tales of atrocity and failure, Julian had taken Garak's outstretched hand and granted him a prize beyond measure: unquestioning and unconditional forgiveness. It should not have meant anything to him, the clemency of an officer from the enemy side, of a youth so callow that he could feel affection and mercy for an agent of the Obsidian Order — but it had, oh, it had opened him up like the stroke of a silver blade, and when he had closed his eyes he had known that he could die without pain after receiving such a benediction. Julian had found him blameless. Very little mattered to him anymore, but that single fact mattered more than anything else that remained of his rapidly fading life.

But he had lived, and what came afterwards — the first touch, the first kiss, the first tender whisper in the darkness — had simply felt like completion. For most of his nearly six decades of existence his touch had been a thing of terror to all who met him: now, with Julian, it has become a source of joy and wonder. Caressing the Human's golden skin and feeling his lithe body arch and tremble with passion, Garak lets the protocols of the interrogation chamber fade to distant shadows in his mind. The present moment is full of radiance and pleasure and warmth that drives the lingering cold of the station from his heavy reptilian bones, all because of the love of a man whose innocence should rightly inspire only scorn…

…a beautiful, brilliant, exquisite man who wraps Garak in his slender arms and murmurs words of impossible gentleness, who offers satisfaction in so many ways, who grants him amnesty with every kiss and welcomes him home in each embrace. Garak knows that it is dangerous to get so close, that he is weak where Julian cleaves to him — but there is a limit to even his powers of resistance, and in the end he willingly succumbs to his own hunger for comforting heat and the distraction of an hour's dalliance. When he is honest with himself he wonders if there is any limit to the things he would do in exchange for the adoration in Julian's eyes — and much more importantly, for the perfect solace of his absolution.

THE END


End file.
